Idol
by thinking in blue
Summary: He'd heard all the arguments to stay Kid Flash before, but something was different about it coming from Perdita. He was her hero, and he had let her down.


Stanford went all out advertising Queen Perdita's visit, literally all out. There were posters everywhere, and he'd never gotten so many emails for anything in his life. He couldn't blame them though, it wasn't every day a reigning monarch came to speak at their university. It is a pretty big deal. But they could have only advertised it on a crumpled up post it note and he still would've shown up. He hasn't seen Perdita in over five years, and wouldn't pass up an opportunity to meet her again for anything.

"Queen Perdita, I was wondering if I could have a word with you?" He asks politely. She was addressing the campus as a whole, but he hoped he could talk to her alone. He probably seems like an idiot to her right now, just an average college student trying to talk to a queen, but he had to at least try.

She smiles, not one of those polite, regal smiles she'd been flashing to the crowd, but a genuine smile. He can tell be the crinkles that form around her eyes. "Absolutely."

He waits with her for a few minutes until everyone is gone before he speaks, "Your highness." He bows awkwardly (your supposed to bow when addressing royalty, right?).

She laughs, "There's no need to be so formal."

His cheeks burn, and he can feel himself going slightly red, "Oh. Well, uh… my name is Wally West, and I'm a student here at the university."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Wally - or should I say Kid Flash." She adds mischievously, mouth curving into a playful smirk.

"How-How did you know?" He sputters, caught completely off guard by her knowing his identity.

"I recognized you, there was no way I could forget those eyes. Plus, your friend Nightwing told me you went to school here."

Wally was seriously gonna kill that guy. Mr. Yes-I-always-wear-these-dark-sunglasses goes and blabs his identity to anyone he wants to. Well, Perdita wasn't anyone, and he probably would've ended up telling her anyway. But still, couldn't Dick have trusted _him _to tell Perdita?

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone who you are. Your secret's safe with me." With her thumb and forefinger, she pretends to zip her lips shut.

"Thank you, and I don't mind that you know." He really does appreciate that she won't tell anyone, not that he thought she would, "Anyway, how have you been? You've grown up some since I last saw you."

She laughs, "Yeah, I'm not that sick little girl anymore. I've made a 100% recovery, and now I'm allowed to play sports. Something I used to be too ill to do."

He grins, "Yeah, from what I've heard you're quite the soccer star."

She blushes, "I'm really not that good."

He scoffs, "I'd hardly call making trials for the Vlatavan Olympic soccer team 'not that good'."

"Well, we're a small country, there's not much talent in Vlatava. Besides, I didn't even make the team."

"Either way, it's still a huge achievement."

She shrugs, "I guess. But what about you? I heard you quit being a hero."

He should have known the conversation would lead to this, "I haven't actually quit, I'm just taking a break. I wanted to go to college and get a degree, and it's really hard to do both at once."

"I know, but- well, I saw you on television a few months ago when you fought that Neutron guy. You didn't look happy at all."

He didn't realize news coverage of that went all the way to Vlatava. "No, it's not that I don't want to be a hero anymore, I just, err… my head was in other places then." He knows it sounds dumb, but how else could he explain this to her? _This cousin once removed I didn't even know I had shows up from the future and makes everything complicated? I was supposed to be doing a lab when Neutron started tearing up Central City, and I knew my partner would be beyond angry when I didn't show up? My girlfriend was plotting how she would pretend to die and start over, as a villain?_

"I understand you must have other things going on, but it was so sad seeing you unhappy doing something you used to love."

"I still love it, a lot, I just want to do different thing with my life then I did when I was 16. I'm studying biochemistry, and I'm working side by side with scientific geniuses who are looking for a cure for cancer, and HIV, and all kinds of other devastating diseases. I'm still a hero, just a different kind of hero."

"I know, but we have so many scientists and doctors already. The real heroes, the ones who run across the country in a snowstorm to deliver a heart to a child in need, that's the kind of people we need more of."

There's a pause, then one of her guards calls to her, "Perdita, we need to get going."

"I have to go, it was good talking to you Wally." She gives him a quick hug before being escorted away.

He's left completely dumbfounded. He'd heard all the arguments to stay Kid Flash before. Dick, Conner, M'gann, Uncle Barry, everyone seemed to want him to stay. '_There's a way to balance it' _they told him _'you can still do both. I mean look at me. I'm a hero, but I'm also a blah blah blah.' _They told him that _they_ need him, and that _they _would miss him. _They, _it was always they, the League or the Team that would need him or miss him, as if they were the only ones affected.

But something was different about hearing it from Perdita. She wasn't the League or the Team, she was just a kid. Yes, a powerful monarch, but still a kid. And she idolized _him_, not the Justice League or the rest of the team, but him. He was her hero, and he had let her down.

When he left, he was only thinking about the Team, and how even though they said they needed him, he knew they'd get by. The civilians, the people who looked up to him, hadn't crossed his mind. He didn't even think he had fans, he was just the sidekick after all. No one ever constructed huge statues in his honor. They didn't even get his name right half the time. He wasn't really a role model if nobody looked up to him, or even noticed he was there half the time. No, nobody would care if Flash's teenage tagalong went away for a while, but Perdita had shown him that wasn't true.

As he walks back to his apartment he can't help but wonder, _how many other people have I let down?_


End file.
